Do you listen effectively when others speak? Can you distill the essence of what others have said or what others are saying? When you form the habit of effective listening you can understand the essence of what others are saying each time you talk to them. When you do this you will look forward to your conversations with others because you can eliminate frustrations and joyfully get the the outcomes you want. This is a skill with a steep learning curve, so be prepared to make mistakes as you make progress.
The more you can understand and express what others have said the less stress you will have to deal with when you interact with your friends, co-workers, spouse, kids or even complete strangers. On the other hand when you misunderstand others because you have not effectively listened to them, they will become frustrated and mad at you. This can lead to pain, anger , rage and sometimes physical violence.
The first step in the habit of effective listening is letting the other person finish. Don't cut people off. Raise your hands if you have caught people off before. If you find yourself barely listening to others and merely waiting for them to finish speaking before you respond, it means you are cutting them off without trying to understand their point of view, concerns and pain. Ask them if they have finished making their point. Thank them for what they said then ask questions to make sure you got most of what they wanted to convey. When you do this consistently you will see yourself able to listen with more purpose and intensity.
How can yo do this? This means you have to listen with all your senses and beyond words! If you don't listen with your sense of eyes, your sense of touch and your sense of smell you will miss a lot of hidden communications in your daily interactions with others. How will you know when the person who is smiling at you is actually mad at you?
If you don't listen beyond words , you will miss conversational cues? How will you know what those you are meeting with, really think about you? How will you know what your son wants if you never listen to him? How will you know what your girlfriend or wife wants if you never listen to her? How will you know what your boyfriend or husband wants if you never listen to him? How will you know what your kids want if you never listen to them?
The bottom line is that if you really want to keep stress out of the different situations and circumstances that make up your daily life, you have to learn to effectively listen to others so that you can have a better understanding of their message and concerns. Sometimes you are so caught up with yourself that you fail to read the non-verbal clues coming from others. This usually leads to frustrations and emotional outbursts and more stress.
You have to remember that the habit of effective listening with will help you listen with more intensity. You cannot listen with your mouth. You have remember that you have one mouth and two ears for a reason. Can you listen without interrupting? Sometimes you get so caught up in your activities of the day that you do not have time to listen to your spouse or friends. This is unhealthy for your relationships, because when concerns and worries are not shared, emotional tension builds up and stress disrupts . This can lead to emotional disruptions, frustrations, anger and stress.
If you like these tips and strategies, you can learn more ways to manage or eliminate stress by signing up the Stress Management Made Easy training!.