How to use expectations to manage conflict in your relationships
Conflicts can sometimes arise in relationships because of differences in expectations. At home this could be because of the differences in expectations between parents and children, or between siblings or spouses. If a parent expects his child to take school seriously and strive for grade A in all his subjects , but the child thinks that school is boring and unnecessary, seeds for conflict have been sown. Why? Parent and child have different expectations. Unless these expectations are modified or properly managed conflicts will arise. You can use expectations to manage conflict in your relationships by managing expectations. This is part of the process of self-mastery and relentless transformation.
Almost everyone has expectations of what they want for themselves and for those around them. These expectations are part of the fabric of the relationship between husband and wife, sisters, brothers, parents and children, friends, co-workers and bosses, teachers and students. This includes wives having expectations from their husbands and husbands from their wives. These could be financial, emotional, social or sexual.
If these expectations are not met or properly managed conflicts will arise. These conflicts may initially start as simple disagreements before they become full blown quarrels with shouting, angry exchanges and strong visceral responses. While these challenges and problems can occur at home, they can also occur at work and during social gatherings or interactions. This also extends to the workplace and your daily interactions with others. Can these interactions be so disruptive that they lead to conflicts within your family, friends and daily interactions with others? Yes!
How can you manage expectations and conflict? One way of managing expectations when dealing with others may be to lower them and make them more realistic. By turning your expectations into achievable goals you can help avoid conflicts. This can be done in different situations by setting boundaries, keeping in mind each person’s stage in Ericson’s psychosocial development, and creating avenues through which everyone is allowed to discuss their expectations or goals in the context of their personality type and trait. Everyone will benefit and this will encourage all parties to come to the discussion to work towards their different goals, without ever having to worry about conflicts. This is actually part of the process of self-mastery ,effective communication and relentless transformation.
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